You might be here because something in your relationship feels different lately — heavier, more confusing, or harder to keep carrying. When you’re a mum, noticing the signs it’s time to separate doesn’t usually come as one clear moment; it comes as a slow build-up of doubts, exhaustion, or a quiet knowing you can’t ignore anymore.

Actively choosing to become a single mother can be the most daunting decision of your life, and certainly is not one that should be made lightly

As a mother, there are always so many things to weigh up, especially when there are children involved, but here are 11 signs it might just be the right time to separate.

Trust is Broken and Doesn’t Seem to Repair

Trust is the foundation upon which healthy and strong relationships are built. Once it is lost, a married couple may very well be heading for a divorce. Trust can be rebuilt. However, that requires a monumental effort by both parties and only if they’re fully committed to saving their marriage.

But if you’ve raised the issues, done the work, and nothing changes, it’s okay to see this as one of the signs it’s time to separate from your spouse.

Lack of Respect: A Major Sign It’s Time to Separate

Sometimes disrespect arrives quietly — sharp comments, dismissiveness, rolled eyes, or a tone that makes you feel small. Over time, these moments stack up and start to erode the connection you once had.

Being disrespectful to each other is another red flag. It could indicate that the relationship may be heading for a breakdown.

So when this behaviour starts to become frequent, and you’re unable to treat one another with the respect you once had, the writing may be on the wall.

You’re Only Staying Together for the Kids

Many mums hold on longer than they should. They want to “keep the family together.” It’s such a common fear and such a heavy one to carry alone. But remember, children don’t need perfect families; they need safe and emotionally stable ones. 

Studies have reported that most children would rather have their parents divorced and happy rather than remain in an unhappy relationship. If your children are the only thing holding the relationship together, it might be worth exploring what separation could look like in a supportive, child-centred way.

Money Feels Like the Chain Keeping You There

Financial challenges are also another common reason that prevents mums from taking the bold step to initiate a separation and choose to live as a single mother.  

Paying for a second household is often unaffordable when you are living on the income of a single mum. Sometimes it’s cheaper to stay in an unhealthy relationship.  

If finances are the main thing keeping you in an unhappy relationship, it may help to speak with a financial counsellor or explore what support systems actually exist.

Many single parents are actually entitled to government support and tax breaks. Consult a tax agent and family lawyer to find out what kind of support you might be entitled to if you were to decide it was time to separate.

You’re Worried What Others Will Think

In the past, single mums often faced a stigma in getting a divorce, often holding women back from filing for divorce or even just separating.

Even though stigma around separation has eased, the internal pressure can still feel loud: “Will they judge me?” “Will I disappoint everyone?” “What if they think I failed?”

But here’s the truth: your happiness, mental health and safety matter more than anyone else’s opinion. You deserve a life that feels good to live, not one that looks good on the outside.

Poor Communication is a Key Sign It’s Time to Separate

Good communication is the only means of resolving any given problem. Without this, there is little hope of resolving anything, let alone saving your marriage.

In many marriages, there are bound to be some challenges along the way. But that can only be resolved through healthy communication with your partner, and the sooner you engage with them, the better.

Poor communication can lead to one or both spouses shutting down and refusing to engage for fear that it will lead to an argument. This not only allows small issues to fester into major disputes but also makes communication even harder. 

When the dynamic reaches a place where resolving conflict feels impossible, it may be one of the signs it’s time to separate from your partner.

When two spouses cannot properly communicate with each other, the problem does not end with a decision to divorce. It can also make family mediation and post-divorce parenting even more difficult.

Feeling on Edge Daily? It’s One of the Signs It’s Time to Separate

Stress and unhappiness in a relationship can put immense strain on a couple. This can make one or both partners feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells, afraid that they may at any time trigger an unpleasant or angry reaction from their spouse.

If you’re walking on eggshells around your partner, how long can you really sustain it? Remember, you deserve a home where you can exhale — not a home that leaves you tense, hyper-aware or bracing for someone else’s reactions.

Your Core Values No Longer Align

Values aren’t preferences. They’re the compass for how you live, love, parent, and move through the world. When your values clash with your partner’s — or worse, when you’re asked to shrink, silence or compromise your own — it can slowly break your spirit.

It’s okay to honour what matters to you. So, if you’re being asked to compromise your values, then it’s time to consider if the relationship is still worth saving.

Living with Constant Criticism? It’s One of the Signs It’s Time to Separate

Being under constant criticism is an exhausting way to live. Being criticised day in and day out can breed resentment, mistrust, and disrespect. It can also make one feel distressed, unappreciated, and always on edge. 

These are all harmful traits to a healthy marriage, and nothing good will come out of living this way.

When Different Parenting Styles Become Signs It’s Time to Separate

Different parenting styles are normal and may not warrant separating from your spouse entirely on their own. However, if your spouse’s parenting style causes conflict, confusion for the kids, or emotional strain for you, it becomes much harder to function as a team.

Here’s where the open and honest communication comes into play. Discuss your concerns regarding your differing parenting styles. As well as the effect you see this having on your children and your family as a whole.

If attempts at open, respectful conversation about parenting consistently fail, it may be another sign that the partnership has stopped working.

Abuse of Any Kind

There is absolutely NO excuse for any kind of abuse in a relationship, be it physical, verbal or emotional. When you have reached this stage, there may not be much left to do except pack up and walk away. If you are the victim of abuse, please seek help from organisations such as White Ribbon Australia, 1800Respect or Lifeline.

When You’re Noticing Signs It’s Time to Separate

Recognising the signs it’s time to separate doesn’t mean you have to make a decision today. Whatever you choose, you deserve clarity, safety and a life that feels steadier than the one you’re surviving right now.

If you need practical guidance around the legal side of separation, Hickman Family Lawyers is a compassionate, supportive option you can turn to. 

If your heart needs a gentler landing place, something you can move through at your own pace, our mini-course can help you reconnect with your strength and rebuild your sense of self.

No matter where you are in this season, you’re not navigating it alone. There’s no “right way” forward — only what feels right for you. And we’re here to walk alongside you, one small, manageable step at a time.

Disclaimer: This blog is not intended as any form of advice. We recommend seeking professional legal and/or financial support and advice when making this life-changing decision.

Megan Opena

Megan is a passionate writer who has turned her love for words into a career. Raised by a strong, independent single mum, she learned the values of resilience, compassion, and empowerment from an early age. Although not yet a mum herself, she is deeply passionate about women’s rights and women’s empowerment, dedicating her voice to uplifting women on their journeys. A lifelong lover of reading and writing, she uses her words to honour the lessons instilled by her mother and to inspire strength in others.

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