Many single mums reach a point where they start wondering whether they’re ready to open their hearts again. It’s completely normal to feel a mix of hope, fear, and hesitation when thinking about dating after everything you’ve carried. This is often where self-love before a new relationship becomes important, not as a rule, but as a grounding space to return to yourself.

What Self-Love Means for Single Mums

Self-love is the practice of valuing and caring for oneself emotionally and physically. It means taking the time to prioritise your own needs and wants. Start by setting boundaries to protect yourself from negative influences. One of the most important things you can do for yourself and your children is to practice self-love.

This may mean saying no to social invitations or activities that drain your energy—or setting aside time each day for self-care. Practising self-love is essential for building solid relationships with oneself and others.

When you love and care for yourself, you can set a positive example for your children, showing them that self-love is essential and healthy. 

Additionally, a mother who can love herself is better equipped to be emotionally available for her children, providing them with the support and guidance they need.

Practising Self-Love Before a New Relationship

Single motherhood can be a lonely and isolating experience, but practising self-love through self-care can help alleviate those feelings. It is also vital to take the time to focus on oneself and to engage in activities that bring joy and fulfilment. Here are a few ways self-care might look in everyday life:

• Spending time with friends or family who fill your cup
• Revisiting a hobby or interest that used to bring joy.
• Taking a yoga class or moving your body gently.
• Carving out 5–10 minutes for yourself before the day begins.
• Choosing one small thing each day that supports your wellbeing.

Sonia Bestulic, author of Flourish for Mums: 21 Ways to Thrive with Self-Care and Acceptance, speaks about finding tiny pockets of bliss in ordinary moments. Something as simple as putting on headphones while washing the dishes can give you a minute to breathe, reset, or even sneak in a little dance. Sometimes that’s enough to shift your whole mood. You can delve deeper into Sonia’s words of wisdom by purchasing her book here: Booktopia

There are a lot of ways to nourish yourself that you might realise, you just have to look for them.

Self-care isn’t about luxury or pampering. It’s about valuing yourself as a person. As single mums, we often juggle so many roles that we forget we’re not only mothers—we’re individuals who deserve love, rest, and respect.

Relearning How To Care For Yourself With Compassion

We nurture those we love with compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Yet we struggle to extend this gift to ourselves. We judge ourselves as unworthy and unimportant by prioritising all above ourselves. 

Yet, the airline safety briefing we hear every time we fly stipulates, “Don our mask before assisting others”. Putting ourselves first is not selfish; it is a necessity. What good will we be or do as exhausted, nervous wrecks?!

Practising self-love before a new relationship often begins with shifting the way you speak to yourself. And one powerful, gentle way to start is through gratitude — not only the kind you might already know.

Bringing Gratitude Back to Yourself

Gratitude journaling is a beautiful practice. It helps you notice what’s working, what feels good, and what you genuinely appreciate in your life. But many mums tend to focus on external things—family, home, connections, small joys.

At Single Mama Way, we gently widen this practice to include internal gratitude, which is a crucial part of self-love before a new relationship. This means recognising the quiet, everyday things you do that reflect strength, care and resilience. It’s something I practise with my daughter every day.

Think about moments like:

• The time you held your temper when you were close to losing it (patience).
• The nourishing meal you put on the table again, even when tired (resourcefulness).
• Getting dressed, showered, and out the door despite feeling overwhelmed (organisation).

These might seem trivial, but we would note and appreciate them in our friends and children, so why not extend the praise to yourself?

Looking for and noting the fabulousness of you is a powerful tool in your self-care practice, one which skyrockets your self-worth and love. A self-appreciation & gratitude journal, free for all Single Mama Way readers, makes this task a breeze.

How Self-Love Influences The Relationships You Choose Next

Self-love also helps you be more selective in your relationships, including your relationships with your children’s father or other partners. When you love yourself, you are less likely to accept mistreatment or disrespect from others. You are more likely to seek healthy, loving relationships because you know you are worth it.

Life may not have turned out to this point as you wanted, but it doesn’t mean it can not get there. Invest in self-care, cultivate a loving relationship with yourself first and use this as a foundation for building strong relationships in the future.

Honouring Your Journey With Self-Love Before A New Relationship

Practising self-love before a new relationship helps you move forward with steadier boundaries, clearer intentions, and a deeper sense of your own worth. Remember, it’s all about giving yourself the compassion, space, and support you deserve.

And as always, if you need a guide, you’re welcome to book your complimentary counselling consult with me to explore how I can support you on this journey.

Single Mama Elle

Elle is our compassionate single mum counsellor, dedicated to guiding fellow mamas through life's challenges. With a heartfelt commitment to transforming obstacles into opportunities, Elle provides empathetic support and practical guidance to her clients. As a single mother herself, she intimately understands the daily struggles and joys of single parenthood. Outside of counselling sessions, Elle finds rejuvenation in nature walks and yoga practice, nurturing her own well-being to better support others. Through her counselling practice, Elle aims to instil unwavering belief in single mums, empowering them to navigate life's journey with resilience and optimism.

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