Here at Single Mama Way, we try to be encouraging and uplifting by highlighting the better things about single parenting. But despite all the pep talk, the reality remains that being a single parent is incredibly challenging. Among others, you have to deal with the trauma of abandonment, the financial, physical, and psychological toll of raising a human being by yourself and losing your confidence and self-esteem in the process. All of these can heavily affect your mental health and, thereby, your ability to become more confident as a parent for your child.
Many of the single mums I have had the pleasure of working with as a coach ask the same question: Where is the village that the quotes talk about? Going into the first stages of this journey, we expect that there will be people and systems in place to help us get through this beautiful gift, that is parenting. But we quickly realise that, sometimes, this is a myth and that sometimes, we are in this by ourselves. But I’m here to remind you that all is not lost: you can regain your confidence as a parent. This guide will tell you how.
The Importance of Strong Relationships in Becoming More Confident as a Parent
The Connection Between Social Support and Parental Wellbeing
Socialisation was the activity that allowed the human species to survive, so seeking connections and cooperation with other people is a normal behaviour. But the truth is, being a parent, let alone a single parent, can be isolating. There’s no one to share the work with, no one to “download” the pent-up negative emotions to at the end of the day.
The fact is, the better your mental health, the more you become a good model for your kids, and the more you provide them with a positive childhood. The other fact is you can’t do it alone.
As humans, parents need others. A partner or family members to help with the financial, physical, and emotional responsibilities of childcare. A community that ensures the safety and security of your children. Friends who will advocate for your well-being and cheer you on. Ultimately, having people who make you feel like you’re not alone can make it less likely for your parenting journey to be stressful.
How Guilt and Burnout Impact Parenting
Sometimes, our minds can be our worst enemies. We allow our guilt to hold us back from seeking help. Yes, we are burnt out, but we don’t wish to burden others with our problems. We don’t want our kids to think they’re a burden, so we choose not to take a time out. We don’t want others to see our struggles and view us as a failures, so we keep our hardships to ourselves. The guilt over prioritising ourselves makes parenting harder. This has to change.
The thing is, we often don’t see that there are people who are just waiting for you to ask. Some people are willing to step up, but they may not want you to feel like they’re prying or overstepping their role. There are available services in the community. Sometimes, they just wait for you to reach out. That is a choice you have to make.
Overcoming the Fear of Self-Prioritization to Be More Confident as a Parent
Letting Go of ‘Mum Guilt’ Around Taking Time for You
“Mum guilt” is something many single mums often struggle with. We place our kids’ needs above everything else. (That “everything else” is your own needs.) Their hunger, sleep, homework, and overall happiness take precedence over your own. After all, you’re a parent.
But you have to let the mum guilt go. Putting your needs last all the time will 100% definitely lead to suffering mentally and emotionally. You need time to take care of yourself and rediscover your value—because when you feel strong and fulfilled, you’re more confident as a parent and better equipped to support your children.
Yes, it may seem impossible for new single mums and those with small kids. The good news is as your children grow, things get easier. As they age and start spending more time in school, you’re going to have more room to breathe. You’re just going to have to wait, but it will come.
How Building a Support Network Actually Makes You More Confident as a Parent
Building a support network will give you more breathing space, which will allow you to become a better parent. Having a bunch of trustworthy and reliable people around can make you feel less anxious about leaving for kids for a while. Having someone who listens and won’t judge is an effective approach to unload your social and emotional worries at the end of the day.
How to Communicate Boundaries to Kids Without Feeling Guilty
Setting healthy boundaries with your children is an essential part of their growth and development. It’s important to let your kids know that you do not exist solely for them and that you are your own person. Rest in knowing that doing so will allow them to develop the same mindset and belief in their own value. Here are some tips on how to communicate your boundaries with your children:
- Define your boundaries. First and foremost, you have to know which areas of your life you wish to reclaim when you’re ready. Be clear about your message; don’t be confused about what you want right now.
- Tell them. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They will understand in their own way if you tell them respectfully.
- Be firm. Lastly, it’s important to actually follow through. Some kids like testing their parents. Be calm, but keep your word, especially when it comes to punishment. If you’re consistent, they will understand that you are serious about it.
How Community Helps You Become More Confident as a Parent
Learning from Other Mums: Shared Wisdom and Advice
The most valuable resource is the wisdom shared by other mums. Whether through library books or personal experiences, there’s always something to learn. Here are some inspiring stories from my clients at Single Mama Way—mums who became more confident as a parent by building their support network.
Sari’s Story
Sari had virtually no one when she lost her husband. Coming from a foreign country and having been a stay-at-home mum for twelve years, she could not provide for their child on a meagre pension. Having no choice, she sought the help of her neighbours to help her find a source of income. It’s a good thing all of her previous positive interactions with her community paid off.
Her mum’s friends from her child’s extracurriculars recommended her for job vacancies even without any work experience. She also has a couple of mum friends who she can turn to to babysit her little one when she needs to go overtime at work or have “me time”. According to Sari, being kind and helpful to others is essential because one of them can help you someday. Remember that relationships are always give-and-take: you should also provide your support system with the same assistance when they need you.
Emily’s Story
When she left her emotionally abusive marriage, Emily had no financial safety net and no family nearby to rely on. She felt completely alone. But instead of isolating herself, she reached out to a local single parents’ group. Through that community, she found a friend who helped her with babysitting, another who connected her with a job opportunity, and a mentor who guided her through the legal process of custody arrangements. Slowly but surely, she rebuilt her life, proving to herself and her child that they were never truly alone.
Natalie’s Story
Then there’s Natalie, who struggled with postnatal depression after her ex-partner left. She was hesitant to ask for help, convinced that she had to push through on her own. But when a fellow mum from her daycare noticed her exhaustion and offered to take her son for a playdate, Natalie reluctantly accepted. That small gesture led to more acts of kindness, and soon, she had a circle of mums who checked in on her, shared meals, and reminded her that she was doing an amazing job. Today, she credits her ability to thrive as a single mum to the people who stepped in when she couldn’t do it alone.
These stories remind us that help is out there, even when it feels like we’re on our own. Sometimes, all it takes is one brave step to start building the network that will carry you through.
Practical Support That Gives You Breathing Space
To let go of the mum guilt, you need a support network that will step up. If you have parents or family members nearby, reconnect with them and seek help. Most likely, your parents won’t pass up on doting on their grandchildren. Find safe people in your community, preferably other mums, who you can exchange sleepover schedules with.
Invest in a professional therapist who will advocate for your growth, is always ready to listen, and will suggest valuable insights. The Single Mama Way Counselling offers compassionate, tailored support to help you work through guilt, overwhelm, and self-doubt—so you can confidently move forward.
Seek government assistance like Child Care Subsidy (CCS) for daycare subsidies or for finding resources for free daycare services.
Finding Balance Through Boundaries and Connection
When to Say No: Protecting Your Time and Energy
As a single mum, your time and energy are precious. Yet, it’s so easy to fall into the trap of saying yes to everything—helping with every school event, always picking up extra shifts, or constantly being available for others. But stretching yourself too thin will only leave you exhausted and resentful.
Learning to say no is an essential skill that will protect your well-being and, ultimately, make you more present and confident as a parent. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re selfish or uncaring. It means you are prioritising what truly matters: your mental and emotional health, your little ones’ stability, and your overall happiness.
The key is to recognise when your plate is full and to set limits accordingly. If requests do not align with your priorities or would take away from your much-needed downtime, it’s okay to decline. Try using simple, firm but kind responses like, “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now,” or “That sounds great, but I need to take care of myself first.” Your peace of mind is just as important as your children’s needs, and setting boundaries will help you feel stronger and more confident as a parent every day.
Asking for Help Without Feeling Like a Burden
Many single mums struggle with asking for help. It’s easy to feel like you should be handling everything alone, that needing support somehow makes you a failure. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. Even in traditional two-parent households, parenthood is a shared responsibility. You are not weak for reaching out … you are human.
If asking for help feels uncomfortable, start small. Reach out to trusted friends or family members and let them know what you need. You might be surprised at how willing people are to step in. Remember, there is no shame in leaning on others. If anything, it sets a great example for your child—they learn that seeking help is healthy and normal.
It’s also helpful to remind yourself that asking for help is not just about receiving—it’s about building connections. When you open up to others, you create space for deeper connections and mutual help. And one day, when you’re in a position to do so, you can pay it forward.
Creating a Support System That Makes You More Confident as a Parent
Building a strong support system isn’t just about getting help with practical things—it’s about having a group of people who uplift and encourage you. It’s about surrounding yourself with those who remind you that you’re doing a great job, even when you feel like you’re failing.
This might include close friends, family members, fellow single mums, colleagues, or even online communities. The key is to find people who genuinely understand and respect your journey. Look for those who listen without judgment, offer advice without criticism, and celebrate your victories, no matter how small.
Consider joining local or virtual single-parent groups where you can share experiences, swap money-saving hacks, and vent when needed. A great place to start is The Single Mum Vine Facebook Group—a warm, supportive space where you can connect with like-minded mums who truly get it. Investing in a strong network will not only help you feel confident as a parent but also make the journey less lonely. Because at the end of the day, motherhood was never meant to be done alone—and you deserve to feel supported every step of the way.
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