Being a single mum is never a walk in the park. There are finances, PTA meetings, finding yourself, and, more importantly, you carry the mental load of building better relationships with your children to send them into the world as decent human beings … all by yourself.

For me and many single parents I’ve met, one of the most beautiful things that can come out of this experience is growing as a person. This reality pushes us out of our comfort zone, forcing us to change and become better versions of ourselves. The good news is the desire to change for the better can create a ripple effect, forging a positive parent-child relationship along the way. If you’re lost, Single Mama Way is here to help you get this relationship right.

Building Better Relationships with Your Children

Positive Mindset Creates a Calmer Home Environment

Being a parent is a journey filled with ups and downs, but our mindset shapes our home. A positive mindset doesn’t mean ignoring struggles. Instead, it means responding with patience, warmth, and reassurance. When you treat every interaction as an opportunity to connect, you create an environment where your child feels loved and valued. After all, children are incredible sponges: they learn about the world around them by absorbing the things they feel and see from the adults in their lives.

Sometimes, we stress over every little thing: messy rooms, unfinished homework, and used clothes left on the floor. But we have to realise that our frustration is setting the tone. When we shift our mindset and focus on connection rather than control, our homes will feel calmer. Instead of reacting with anger, take a deep breath, smile, and acknowledge your child’s feelings. It makes a world of difference.

How Self-Awareness Improves Communication

Your relationship with your child flourishes when you understand your own emotions. Younger children learn about the world through how we communicate. Listening and empathising without immediately fixing or dismissing their feelings helps them develop trust. When you’re aware of your reactions, you’ll respond with intention rather than frustration.

We mums are not perfect. Years ago, I snapped at my toddler for spilling orange juice on the new couch. Her hurt expression made me realise I was wrong. She needed reassurance, not scolding. I knelt down, gave eye contact, apologised for my outburst, and said, “It’s okay, let’s clean it up together.” That moment with my child helped me see that my reaction matters more than the mistake itself. Self-awareness encourages honest interaction and deepens the parent-child bond.

Leading by Example: Teaching Resilience Through Growth

Children learn from what we do, not just what we say. If we want to help children develop resilience, we must model it. When mistakes happen, responding with patience and problem-solving teaches them that setbacks are part of life.

When your teen struggles with a difficult friendship, share a story about when you felt left out. Instead of giving a solution, listen and empathise. This helps your child develop confidence in handling challenges on their own. Giving your child good examples is also the foundation for them to see that growth comes from challenges. It lets them know that they don’t have to navigate these alone.

How to Establish Better Relationships with Your Children (cont.)

The Role of Self-Compassion in Parenting

Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. When you give yourself grace, you model self-compassion for your child. A secure parent-child relationship is built on mutual respect and love.

Some days, you might feel like you’re failing. Maybe dinner was chaotic, or rules were broken. But one bad day doesn’t define your bond. It’s good to recognise your efforts, express emotions openly, and love them unconditionally. Your child needs a responsive, caring parent or caregiver, not a perfect one.

Small Steps that Strengthen Family Bonds

It’s not about grand gestures but small, intentional moments that strengthen your relationship. It’s important to remember that spending time together without distractions, even for a few minutes, makes a big difference. One-on-one time with your child, whether it’s reading, playing, or simply chatting, helps them feel loved.

Here are simple and fun ways to helps create wonderful moments with your child:

• Give eye contact when they speak.
• Offer a loving touch, like a hug or gentle pat.
• Acknowledge their feelings and reassure them.
• Foster creativity through play or storytelling.
• Treat eating together as a family as a quality time to connect.
• Establish special traditions, like a bedtime story or a weekend walk.

Final Thoughts: Build Better Relationships with Your Children

No matter what age your child is, they need closeness. They need a relationship with you that feels safe, loving, and full of warmth. When you focus on your personal growth (i.e. understanding your emotions, healing old wounds, and learning to respond rather than react), you set the stage for a stronger bond with your child. The more you grow as a parent, the more you help your child feel unique and valued.

Parenting is an ever-evolving journey. As you grow and learn, your child grows and learns with you. The way you show up in your own life teaches them more than words ever could. And as you become a more present, self-aware, and compassionate parent, you create an environment where your child can thrive.

If you’re looking for support in this journey, Single Mama Way coaching is here to help. With guidance tailored to your unique challenges, you’ll find strategies for child development, build confidence, and create the family connection you truly want. Because when you invest in yourself, you invest in your child’s future, too.

Single Mama Elle

Elle is our compassionate single mum counsellor, dedicated to guiding fellow mamas through life's challenges. With a heartfelt commitment to transforming obstacles into opportunities, Elle provides empathetic support and practical guidance to her clients. As a single mother herself, she intimately understands the daily struggles and joys of single parenthood. Outside of counselling sessions, Elle finds rejuvenation in nature walks and yoga practice, nurturing her own well-being to better support others. Through her counselling practice, Elle aims to instil unwavering belief in single mums, empowering them to navigate life's journey with resilience and optimism.

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