Positive Self-talk: The Easy Way To Improve Self-worth

Self-worth is the value and belief you hold in yourself, not just as a mother but as an individual. It includes acknowledging your strengths and positive attributes and feeling deserving of joy and success. Not to mention holding a positive view of yourself independent of others’ opinions.

Many parents, particularly single mothers, often question their own worth. It is easy to overlook the importance of our role when we are caught up in the busyness of raising our children. Yet, while becoming a mother may have shifted your priorities, it doesn’t mean you must always come last on your list, Mama.

After all, how can you teach your kids to value themselves if you do not value yourself? We want to be our best and, indeed, the best mothers for our kids. But sometimes, it can be hard to figure out where to start. Don’t worry, I’ve got you; I will guide you – the Single Mama way.

In my field and personal life, I have witnessed many mothers struggle with the challenges of raising children alone while trying to recognise their own value. Thus, I have created this article to support all single mothers, helping them cultivate positive self-talk and recognise their worth.

Exploring the concept of self-talk.

It’s important to understand that the way we talk to ourselves can significantly impact our self-worth. This is especially essential for single mothers, as we are our families’ foundation and source of strength. Our children rely on us for support. While finding the silver lining when dealing with work, school, and parenting challenges may be tricky, practising positive self-talk is still important. Remember, you deserve to feel confident and proud of yourself, no matter your obstacles.

Initially, it is vital to comprehend the reasons behind our internal monologue. Our beliefs, experiences, and upbringing shape our inner dialogue. Still, external factors such as stereotypes and criticism can significantly impact our self-talk, reducing our sense of self-worth.

Despite my best efforts to stay focused on what I know is best for my family, there are times when the opinions of others can sneak past my defences and leave me uncertain.

This can be especially difficult when it comes to receiving feedback on my parenting methods, as I want to make sure that I’m doing everything I can to provide my children with the love, support, and guidance they need to thrive.

During moments of uncertainty, I take a moment to pause and reflect on my actions. I ask myself if I have made any mistakes or if what I did was in the best interest of my children. After thoroughly considering, I reassure myself that I always do my best and never do anything that could harm my kids.

The Impact of Self-Talk on Self-Worth

Being self-compassionate and supportive can increase our self-confidence and resilience in difficult times. On the other hand, negative self-talk can make obstacles seem more difficult to overcome and hinder our ability to create a happy life for ourselves and our loved ones. 

Studies have shown that positive self-talk can enhance our self-worth by reinforcing our belief in our strengths and abilities, even in adversity. Those who engage in positive self-talk are likelier to develop better strategies for handling emotions and mental stress.

The way we talk to ourselves influences how we perceive reality. Mothers who engage in positive self-talk and enhance self-esteem positively impact their parenting and children’s happiness. Children learn by observing their parents’ behaviour, so when mothers show self-compassion and confidence through positive self-talk, they teach their children self-respect and resilience. 

Single mothers with a high level of self-worth are also better prepared to handle parenting challenges without being too hard on themselves. Our emotional well-being plays a significant role in creating a nurturing and supportive environment for our children.

As a child, I recall a friend’s aunt who was the local office cleaner. Loreta, a single mother, often brought her daughter to work. Despite her circumstances, Loreta never felt ashamed of her job and believed it was a respectable way to make a living. Her daughter eventually became a lawyer, illustrating how a mother’s self-confidence can inspire her children to pursue their passions and develop self-confidence.

Developing self-worth through self-talk

Teaching your mind to be more compassionate and supportive towards yourself is a key aspect of positive self-talk. If you are uncertain about where to begin, follow these simple steps:

• Awareness and Mindfulness

Begin by paying attention to the way you talk to yourself. Be mindful of when you find yourself being self-critical or having negative thoughts. Amid our busy lives, it can be easy to lose track of our self-awareness and fall back into a pessimistic mindset. I understand that it’s challenging, but remember you have overcome more difficult obstacles in the past. I believe in your ability to overcome this. When you catch yourself thinking negatively, try deep breathing or meditation to calm your mind and refocus on the present moment. If you are struggling with developing self-awareness, please visit the article I wrote earlier, “How to Improve Self-awareness.”

• Challenge Negative Thoughts

When you have negative thoughts, question whether they are realistic. Are you catastrophising? Is there a more optimistic perspective you can adopt on the situation?

Shift your focus to past accomplishments and the positive feedback you have received. Realise that others’ opinions are just one viewpoint; see them as a chance for personal development rather than a judgment of your abilities.

• Practise Self-Compassion

Remember to treat yourself with the same compassion and empathy you show your closest friends. If you believe your friends deserve love, acceptance, and forgiveness, you should also remind yourself that you deserve them too! Embrace your flaws, and don’t hesitate to make mistakes. It’s crucial to focus on the things you are grateful for. Continuously remind yourself of your strengths, accomplishments, and the qualities you admire in yourself. 

• Visualisation and Affirmations

Utilise visualisation. Imagine your perfect self and the life you aspire to lead. Envision yourself achieving success, feeling self-assured, and recognising value. Feel into the vision with all of your might. Constructing a vision board can aid in this process. You may even involve your children in creating the board as a fun household project. Display it in a visible location for a quick reminder of your goals whenever you need a confidence boost.

Make positive affirmations a part of your daily schedule. When you catch yourself criticising, use positive affirmations to remind yourself of your values and capabilities. For instance, instead of thinking, “I am useless,” say, “I am learning.” 

If you make a mistake, address yourself in the mirror and reassure yourself that you will improve in the future or acknowledge that you did your utmost, which is what counts.

• Seek Professional Support

If the strategies mentioned above don’t improve the situation or negative self-talk seriously impacts your mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. A therapist or counsellor like myself can offer support, resources, and strategies to help you challenge negative thoughts and develop a more positive self-image. So, consider scheduling a Nurturing Growth and Empowerment Call with me, and I’ll do my best to guide you through your struggles.

• Edit the Story You Tell Yourself

Developing new beliefs takes time and effort, along with being kind to yourself. Begin by recognising old negative beliefs that no longer benefit you. Replace them with positive ones that reflect your goals and values. You can also incorporate these new beliefs into your vision board.

Surrounding yourself with positivity is essential. Spending time with supportive individuals who encourage and motivate you is beneficial. Avoid being exposed to negative influences, like negative media or social media accounts that may lower your self-esteem. 

Conclusion: The Easy Way To Improve Self-worth

In conclusion, by using positive self-talk and seeking help when necessary, single mothers can overcome self-doubt and low self-esteem and eventually achieve a strong sense of self-worth. This, in turn, leads to a caring home atmosphere that benefits your children’s emotional and mental growth and improves your bond with them. 

And so, embrace the strength of positive self-talk with consistency and witness its positive impact on your and your children’s lives. Remember, you deserve love, success, and joy as a mother. You are important and deserving of good things in life simply for being yourself (and a fantastic mum).

Single Mama Elle

Elle is our compassionate single mum counsellor, dedicated to guiding fellow mamas through life's challenges. With a heartfelt commitment to transforming obstacles into opportunities, Elle provides empathetic support and practical guidance to her clients. As a single mother herself, she intimately understands the daily struggles and joys of single parenthood. Outside of counselling sessions, Elle finds rejuvenation in nature walks and yoga practice, nurturing her own well-being to better support others. Through her counselling practice, Elle aims to instil unwavering belief in single mums, empowering them to navigate life's journey with resilience and optimism.

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